Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Why they call me, "The Pitbull"

Start at the bottom and work your way up - it is the opposite procedure of drinking a beer... 
Dear Mikey,

We apologize for the confusion in responding to your concerns outlined 
below. Unfortunately, we have experienced some very high call volume the
past few weeks and are sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.

I see that you were able to contact another service representative on 
11/30 for this order. Were the changes to the order/concerns handled 
fully on that phone call?

Please let us know if there is anything further we can do to assist you.

If you have any additional questions or comments, please email us at  Or, if you prefer, you may call our Customer
Service Center at 1-800-THE-BOOK (1-800-843-2665), 8:00 AM-11:00 PM 
(EST) Monday thorough Friday and 9:00 AM to 5:30 PM on Saturdays and 
Sundays. If you are contacting us from outside the United States, please
call 201-559-3882.



Customer Service Representative
Barnes & Noble


Original Message Follows:
 Greetings.  My last e-mail correspondence with Barnes & Noble did not 
involve any mention of the "new website design".  So in regards to:

"Your feedback is very important to us at Barnes & and we 
appreciate your taking the time to send us your opinion."

I'm sure my previous e-mail was thoroughly read and understood, 
especially considering, as stated earlier, I never mentioned the new 
website demand.  I look forward to more of this entertaining banter in 
the future.


 On 04/12/2010 3:28 AM, service wrote:
Dear Customer,

Thank you for writing to us about our new website design.

We reviewed your concerns regarding calling Barnes and Noble.  Your 
feedback is very important to us at Barnes & and we appreciate
your taking the time to send us your opinion.  We assure you that we 
have reviewed the issues you have raised with the appropriate people on 
our design team and they are under consideration for implementation. We 
truly value your patronage; your online shopping experience is extremely
important to us.


Customer Service Representative
Barnes & Noble


Original Message Follows:
 Good day.  In response to your e-mail, I would like to point out the 
fact that it would help if a guy could actually get through when trying 
1-800-THE-BOOK.  I tried three times, every hour, for seven hours.  
That's 21 phone calls and not once did I get through.  Your "automated 
system" automatically hung up on me.  Also, once, every hour, for seven 
hours I tried the International number.  How I loved to hear the "busy" 
tone every time I called.  Had I ever got through on anyone line, I 
would have promptly purchased a lottery ticket because the odds of 
winning are the same as talking to somebody at Barnes & Noble.
 However, being ever-so persistent, I located on of your stores through 
your website.  I then proceeded to "411" their phone number and was then
able to contact some chicky-poo in-store.  I explained the situation to 
her, informed her of some pointless pieces of information, confused her 
California mind, and weaseled a secret phone number from her.  This 
magical phone number, albeit strictly not for online orders, worked the 
first time and most of the issues surrounding my order have been 
resolved.  I also find it interesting that during all this finger work 
to get a hold of just one customer services representative, I discovered
that Barnes and Noble is looking for a "Director of Service Automation".
The successful applicants second job responsibility as quoted from the 
posting is:

Manage the efficiencies to reduce cost exposure of providing customer 
For some reason, unbeknown to me, I find this not only tragically ironic
considering yesterdays fiasco in trying to contact anybody at Barnes and
Noble, I also find it exponentially entertaining.
So with that all said, I wish the successful applicant much success in 
trying to reduce customer service at Barnes & Noble anymore than it 
already has.

On 01/12/2010 1:53 PM, service wrote:
Dear Customer,

Thank you for contacting us.

Based on the situation you described, we feel that the difficulties you 
are experiencing would be resolved best by contacting us by phone. 

We ask that you call us at 1-800-THE-BOOK (1-800-843-2665).  We are 
available Monday through Friday from 8AM to 11PM EST, Saturdays and 
Sundays 9AM to 11PM EST.

Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may have 
caused and we look forward to hearing from you.


Customer Service Representative
Barnes & Noble


Original Message Follows:

Order Number: 159865369
Browser: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-US; rv: 
Gecko/20101026 Firefox/3.6.12


First of all, I have tried several times to contact your company over 
the phone and have had no success, to which I am severely frustrated and

I have a few questions about my order that I refuse to have answered 
over an e-mail conversation when I my work takes me away from home 
frequently.  In that regard, I feel it is in both your and my best 
interest if you personally call me at home to rectify the issues with 
our current order.

We can be reached at (306) 843-2314 at home or on my cell at (306) 
843-7989.  I have had enough of trying to call 1-800-THE-BOOK only to 
have your automated system hang up on me because "we are experiencing 
high call volumes".  I am also right fed up with calling 201-559-3882 
only to hear a busy tone every single time I call.  I have more 
important things to do in my life than sit and wait on some Mickey Mouse
form of customer service.

So please call us immediately or else I will be promptly spreading the 
word that our friends and family should not shop with your company and 
we will be moving our business elsewhere as well.  If you feel that is 
not a substantial enough reason to pursue our business, look at our 
account and see the orders we have put in in the past year alone.  Now 
with a baby on the way, you would think that those sales would only 
increase because of a new family member.

I would truly appreciate your utmost promptness in a resolution to all 
the foregoing issues.

Michael Plag
Wilkie, Saskatchewan

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