Ni.

First off, welcome back to the blogging world, Michael.

Oh.  It's my pleasure.

So, what's new?

Not much.  I helped my buddy Caleb shoot his first deer on Sunday.  It was pretty awesome except for the two cynical Ford fans riding with me.

I see.  I see.  I can see how that would be and exception to the awesomeness of hunting, especially in a Chevy truck.  So were you able to take a deer?

Unfortunately, no I was not.  You see, my antlerless mule deer season doesn't open until...  Oh would you look at that.  It's officially open as of sunrise.  What a coincidence.  Long story short, the shooting spree begins today.

Are you excited?

Does a frog bump its ass when it hops?

Point well made.  What else is on your mind Mikey?

My lack of confidence in my grammar and English as well as making up witty titles for this blogging stuff.

I can so totally relate.  We should drink more beer and discuss that another day.

I can dig that jive.

Have you done anything relatively stupid to annoy your wife lately?

Not that I can think of.  She was yammering at me today something along the lines of, "THEY JUST SAID NOT TO TRY THAT AT HOME, MICHAEL!  AUGH!"

Can you recall what might have brought on that vicious attack consisting of adjectives, verbs and nouns.

Well apparently I was sharpening my knives because the dull knife is the one that cuts you - plus I plan on shooting deers in the next few days.  Either way, so this dude on the dvd was all like, "Why by golly gee, if you do this here sharpenin' of the knives like I say, I say boy, I say.  I say you be able to shave the hair off your arm.  But don't be tryin' that at home now, ya hear?"  I guess I didn't hear that last sentence and opted to shave my arm hair with my knife.

And did it work?

She was balling me out wasn't she!

So it worked then.

I bet you licked the windows on the school bus.

Just because you and your wife had a minor domestic disturbance doesn't give you the right to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner, Michael.

I sorry.

Ees okay.  What are you drinking right now?

The best 355ml of Miller Genuine Draft I've had all day.

Didn't you just get home from work?  Shouldn't you be going to bed or something?

What are you, my mother?

Actually I are.

Listen here you, it's "I am", not "I are".  Get it right Pee Wee.

Ooooooh, look at you go Mr. Smart Pant.  "I'm Michael and I'm a concerned grammatarian.  I'm part of a mocking grammar-nazi regime with a mission to verbally embarrass the wordily declined."

Go solicit your hate at the French or a Liberal fund raiser you pretentious monicker!

I sorry.

Ees okay.  Wanna beer?

I'd love one please.  What are my options?

Um.  Cold aaaaaannnnnnnddddd....  Cold.